With the intro out of the way, we come to…
A list of 16 ways to annoy co-passengers unfortunate enough to be in the same flight as you

1) Take the aisle seat and refuse to let anyone pass. Cite your right to relax in the seat you paid for.

2) Press the hostess button on their side, on their behalf. Do this every few minutes.

3) Strike a conversation with your neighbor. Reply mostly with the phrase “that’s what you think”.

4) Tell your neighbor a long (very) joke. Forget the punchline. Repeat.

5) Ask people what gender they are.

6) Ask your neighbor what his lunch preference is. Whenever he visits the restroom, summon the attendant and get the wrong lunch on his/her behalf.

7) Continuously open your carry-on bag and say into it, “Have you got enough air in there?”

8) Hold the buckle of your seat belt in one hand. Keep holding it while using hand gestures to emphasize your points. (For better results, hold an end in each hand)

9) Connect one end of your seat belt to an end of the belt on the seat next to you. Put your luggage above the armrest and the seat belt. Call the setup a security measure and refuse to let anyone touch it.

10) Break the headphones you’re provided with, complain. Repeat when you get new ones. (Break your neighbor’s headphones for good measure)

11) Ask the in-flight attendants whether it’s okay to “take the gun out” now.

12) Ask your neighbor to look for the number of the winning boarding ticket in the newspaper.

13) Press the button to summon an attendant when the fasten seat belts sign is on. Ask friends to do the same. Works best when traveling in a group.

14) Wander around the plane, visit the galley. Ask the attendants what their lunch time is and return at that time to bother them (they don’t have much time to eat anyway).

15) Talk to people on Skype on your laptop. Since you aren’t allowed to use cellphones on a flight, this is the next best thing. Especially annoying if you don’t have a headset. And a built in microphone.

15+) Use a webcam for video conferencing and point it at people who aren’t looking their best at the moment.

16) Play gunshot sounds on your laptop at full volume.

1) Shout loudly, “Hey, these are the same questions my grandmother gave my toddler sister to solve last week! I guess there was a leak!”, five minutes after getting the paper.

2) Leave the hall in an hour, exclaiming, “I’m done with this paper, I wonder how all the slowpokes are faring.”

3) Announce that you scored less than 20% marks in the boards and you are allowed to give the test because of your “connections”…

4) Announce that you are from a scheduled tribe/caste or that you are an OBC. (Warning: Might just be injurious to health)

5) Run around the hall singing “hallowed be thy name” and tearing everyone’s answer sheets in half. (Do this 5 minutes before the exam ends for best results)

6) Bring a cell phone. Deposit with invigilator. Ask for “toilet breaks” every five minutes. Coordinate with friend to ensure that your phone rings every time you are in the toilet. (Watch synchronisation may be required)

7) Before the exam, when everyone is doing their last minute prep, pace the corridor shouting “aabbbcdcbabbddccbbaadcabd…”. Repeat till exam starts.

8) Make constellations using the circles of your answer sheet and quiz the invigilator about the name. Use multiple sheets if required.

9) Ask loudly for a deodorant from those around you, telling them that you had a little “accident” and don’t want the smell to disturb other test takers.

10) Chew gum and stick on the answer sheet of person behind you. You may also use gum to mark answers in your sheet.

11) Look confused and ask the invigilator where he was born, if he tells you, say “aha” confidently and mark something in your answer sheet. If he doesn’t, make fun of his ignorance.

12) Swear loudly every time you find a difficult question.

13) Write someone else’s name on the paper. Ask the invigilator for another sheet, explaining that you are not “used to this name yet”.

14) Ask second-attempt students their previous rank and laugh hysterically.

15) Play dead as soon as you see the paper, slump down on the floor. If anyone makes a move, jump up and say, “Got you! You didn’t think you could get away with copying my answers?”. If it was the invigilator, ask him for the amount of money he took to “peek-and-tell” your answers to someone else.

16) Insist that the invigilator should lie down on your table to cover your answer sheet when you go to the toilet.