So evil was this creature that at the merest whisper of his name, even the toughest of Neanderthals hid in their caves, under rocks and whatever cover they could find, including under leaves (Unfortunately, this is not a joke. One ill-fated man was found hiding under a maple leaf which, as you can guess, was very much inadequate to hide him). Those who passed under his shadow and were spared by his evil designs were left paralyzed in fear for the rest of their lives, which were shortened quite a bit from gazing upon the creature. His blood-curdling cries from among the hills alone were responsible for innumerable deaths of all kinds of flora and fauna. No animal with a sense of smell keener than a monkey was able to survive the poisonous stench of his being.
What creature could be so horrible, so evil, so devastating? It was none other than the cousin brother of Jesus Christ, the Devil. This is not known by many, but just as God had sent his son to save everyone from damnation, Satan had sent his spawn to ensure the very fate for mankind (I should also mention, God and Satan are blood brothers). While the prehistoric christian Neanderthals debated conversion to Buddhism, or even Islam, their fate was fast approaching.
As soon as they had realized that neither Buddhism nor Islam had been founded yet, and considered the fact that God was probably still angry about the whole tree-of-wisdom issue, they decided to pursue the only logical course of action they could think of. They formed a hunting party to take the Devil down.
Sadly, this plan fell through when the brave hunters forgot to plug their ears and became victims of, no not the Devil’s screams, but of yet another song by the ancestor of William Shatner. With the failure of their plans and no hope in sight, the Neanderthals withdrew to their sad, damp dwellings to await death at the hands of Satan’s offspring.
Oh, but they had no idea…
To Be Continued
jesus and satan were blood brothers??
(waitin for the continuation…)